Newfound Peace..

It's the Monday after Christmas and I'm feeling weird about everything in my life. I'm starting to understand things a little differently, and beginning to see that things aren't as black and white as I always thought. I have always been so naive about everything, but I guess I'm growing up?! I'm only 19 and I'm not trying to sound like I'm 106 & suddenly have all the answers, but I think I'm starting to see that I'm not ever going to & sometimes things aren't going to make sense or be easy. It's never been anything but a small catastrophe for me to let anything go or to just forget about a problem unless I've already found the solution, but I'm learning to rely on the Lord's perfect timing and will. I'm not in a hurry to find all the answers, because I understand a little more than before that if I'm consumed by worry and stress, I can't completely follow Him. So how'd I get to all this new found peace? I stumbled through a crazy, trying semester trying to do it myself, before I realized that I'm completely worthless and helpless without His guidance. I'm way too weak to do it alone. This fall, I made beautiful new best friends and let go of a couple friendships that weren't centered on Him. I learned to check stuff out for myself and try new things. I learned that a little bit of fear and uncertainty helps in a lot of situations, but too much just holds me back. I learned that the only thing beating myself up does is slow me down even more than the mistake I first made. I learned to rely on Him, because I'm hopeless otherwise. So, I guess I feel like that's the beginning of figuring things out, knowing I can't, but He can! Obviously, that means not being afraid of messing up, because I know He works all things out for the good for those that love Him. And of course, that means He'll keep showering me with grace! Love Love Love.