January 25, 2011
Open Hands & Open Doors..
My heart is full FULL FULL here lately. Jesus has been showing and changing so much. I was talking to my friend Katie yesterday afternoon about everything that has been on our hearts. Broken friendships. Friends in trouble. Time with our families. SO MUCH MORE. It has never been easy for me to give up or to be out of control. My entire family will tell you that as much as I call my dad a control freak, we are one in the same. I like to call the shots and I almost always have an opinion. I shared with Katie that through this time in life I know I need to give up and ask God to take control, even if that means losing things or people I value. If I put them above Him, He has to move them out of the way. I know I've shared before about how uncomfortable we are called to be, and I'm feeling that call more than I ever have before. I came across this quote the other day from Francis Chan.. "But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through." WOAH!!! My heart hurts all over again. I hold so much trust back from every relationship I have. I can't tell you why or what caused this, because I'm not sure I know, but I know that Jesus is gonna see me through no matter what, so why am I living like I don't trust Him? I told Katie yesterday that I am scared to ask God to take all those things, and I know He can't if my hands aren't open. I'm scared he'll take my best friends because I sometimes hold them between us. I'm scared he'll take so much control that I can't do what I want. I'm scared that I will have to do something I don't want to do or be somewhere I don't want to be or be something I don't want to be. I'm TERRIFIED for Jesus to have control, but I'm miserable when He doesn't. I remember Mrs. Bailey chanting this verse one morning over our First Priority group in high school, & Jesus keeps leading me back to it now, in personal study and FROGS preparation. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Hallelujah! My prayer is becoming to have open hands and open doors. I am learning how to love my friends and family, but not hold on so tight that He becomes second. I'm praying for peace and opportunities that will lead me to where He wants me, no matter how much I doubt my major. I keep stumbling through, but it only makes me that much more thankful for His overwhelming grace. Love Love Love.
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January 25, 2011
Open Hands & Open Doors..
My heart is full FULL FULL here lately. Jesus has been showing and changing so much. I was talking to my friend Katie yesterday afternoon about everything that has been on our hearts. Broken friendships. Friends in trouble. Time with our families. SO MUCH MORE. It has never been easy for me to give up or to be out of control. My entire family will tell you that as much as I call my dad a control freak, we are one in the same. I like to call the shots and I almost always have an opinion. I shared with Katie that through this time in life I know I need to give up and ask God to take control, even if that means losing things or people I value. If I put them above Him, He has to move them out of the way. I know I've shared before about how uncomfortable we are called to be, and I'm feeling that call more than I ever have before. I came across this quote the other day from Francis Chan.. "But God doesn't call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn't come through." WOAH!!! My heart hurts all over again. I hold so much trust back from every relationship I have. I can't tell you why or what caused this, because I'm not sure I know, but I know that Jesus is gonna see me through no matter what, so why am I living like I don't trust Him? I told Katie yesterday that I am scared to ask God to take all those things, and I know He can't if my hands aren't open. I'm scared he'll take my best friends because I sometimes hold them between us. I'm scared he'll take so much control that I can't do what I want. I'm scared that I will have to do something I don't want to do or be somewhere I don't want to be or be something I don't want to be. I'm TERRIFIED for Jesus to have control, but I'm miserable when He doesn't. I remember Mrs. Bailey chanting this verse one morning over our First Priority group in high school, & Jesus keeps leading me back to it now, in personal study and FROGS preparation. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." Hallelujah! My prayer is becoming to have open hands and open doors. I am learning how to love my friends and family, but not hold on so tight that He becomes second. I'm praying for peace and opportunities that will lead me to where He wants me, no matter how much I doubt my major. I keep stumbling through, but it only makes me that much more thankful for His overwhelming grace. Love Love Love.
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Tori..I love you so much and I can't tell you how thankful I am to have you as a friend! Youre heart is precious and I'm so glad we can be transparent with each other and struggle to give up control together!! You are beautiful, beautiful!! Love you! :)
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