Newfound Peace..

It's the Monday after Christmas and I'm feeling weird about everything in my life. I'm starting to understand things a little differently, and beginning to see that things aren't as black and white as I always thought. I have always been so naive about everything, but I guess I'm growing up?! I'm only 19 and I'm not trying to sound like I'm 106 & suddenly have all the answers, but I think I'm starting to see that I'm not ever going to & sometimes things aren't going to make sense or be easy. It's never been anything but a small catastrophe for me to let anything go or to just forget about a problem unless I've already found the solution, but I'm learning to rely on the Lord's perfect timing and will. I'm not in a hurry to find all the answers, because I understand a little more than before that if I'm consumed by worry and stress, I can't completely follow Him. So how'd I get to all this new found peace? I stumbled through a crazy, trying semester trying to do it myself, before I realized that I'm completely worthless and helpless without His guidance. I'm way too weak to do it alone. This fall, I made beautiful new best friends and let go of a couple friendships that weren't centered on Him. I learned to check stuff out for myself and try new things. I learned that a little bit of fear and uncertainty helps in a lot of situations, but too much just holds me back. I learned that the only thing beating myself up does is slow me down even more than the mistake I first made. I learned to rely on Him, because I'm hopeless otherwise. So, I guess I feel like that's the beginning of figuring things out, knowing I can't, but He can! Obviously, that means not being afraid of messing up, because I know He works all things out for the good for those that love Him. And of course, that means He'll keep showering me with grace! Love Love Love.

Thanksgiving Day..

I know I probably won't take time to blog tomorrow, so I decided to do it tonight! I just want to sum up all the big stuff or little stuff that I'm sure I couldn't live without..
Let me start with the most obvious and, hopefully, evident blessing in my entire life, JESUS! I know that I could go on and on forever literally about all the things He has blessed me with and done for me, but it, not surprisingly to you I'm sure, always comes back to grace. I'm so thankful that he forgives me and makes me new every minute of every hour of every day. His grace and forgiveness consume my life and are the only thing that give it purpose. I sat in on my friend Rachel's Dgroup the other day and He opened my eyes during their devotional. Rachel said "Faith and doubt can't live in the same body." I literally couldn't stop thinking about it! Even now, a few weeks later, it has changed everything so much, my prayer life particularly. Naturally, like Jesus always works in weird ways, the next day, the first thing I saw in my Bible was in James 1 where it says, "But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. An indecisive man is unstable in all his ways." I don't know if I've ever been so guilty of something.. I have SO little faith, so I'm thankful that Jesus always provides and that He looks over my selfishness that doubts Him. I'm so thankful that He never gives up on me. He is so good to me! I'm thankful that he overlooks the fact that I've messed up 17,365,794 times a day since the day I was born and that I don't always have a pretty heart, but loves me just the same. I could never say how thankful I am for His birth, ministry, death, and resurrection that set me free from sin and condemnation. I really could go on forever and forever, and if it wasn't bedtime I would, but I think you get the picture. I serve a Jesus who has blessed me far more than I could ever deserve!
On to the little stuff, I guess.. I know this is going to come out as one huge run-on sentence, so I'm sorry ahead of time. I'm so thankful for all the little stuff that Jesus shows His love through, the stuff that He knows is so special to me. Here it goes.. I'm thankful for sunshine, for my favorite TV shows, for sunsets, for FALL and everything that comes with it, for good movies, for real love, for compassion, for laughing, for babies, for good books, for magazines, for Africa and missions, for Dr. Pepper and Peach Nehi, for Sonic Happy Hour, for naps, for pillow talks, for good roommates, for French fries, for guidance, for His perfect will, for dgroup, for frogs, for heart to hearts, for beautiful friendships, for the strangers who always smile on the sidewalk, for home, for football, for late nights and late mornings, for sleeping in, for music of all kinds, for praise and worship time, for Tim Mcgraw and Beyonce, for car rides, for phone dates, for sweet texts, for blogs, for socks, for nail polish, for old people and old couples particularly, for love languages, for sausage balls, for picture texts, for twitter, for old friends and new friends, for Pandora, and for all the other little stuff that gets me through. I'm so thankful!
Happy Thanksgiving!! Don't forget to thank Jesus for Him and for all the little stuff that gets you through. Love Love Love.

Family..

My parents stopped in Russellville to have dinner with me tonight, while they were on their way back from a weekend in Mississippi. I was so happy to see them! I know they probably don't believe it, but I really do miss them so much when I'm at school, even though I don't go home as much as they'd like. I always know its time to go home for a visit when Jami and Brandi start calling to shoot the junk. My parents are everything I could ask for! My dad is the single most hard working person I have EVER met, and almost just like me in every way but that. He's a talker and so am I. I remember always staying awake on trips and talking the entire time, while my mom and sisters slept. We constantly hear that we look and act just alike and even though I deny it always, thats one of the biggest compliments I could ever get. He is such a good man, so selfless and always faithful to lead us just like the Lord leads him. People always just go on and on about how sweet my mom is, and I couldn't agree more. When I moved to school, I realized just how picky I am, because she is such a good cook! I love more than just about anything when we get to shop or talk forever. She has such a beautiful heart and spirit, and has always worked so hard to make our house a home. She always reminds me that home is wherever they are, not the house I lived in, and I'm beginning to understand how true that is. When we were growing up, my sisters and I fought so much, probably because they were just pure evil and I could get pretty mean and dramatic myself, but since Brandi's had kids and I moved to school, I'm so thankful for them. Obviously, Brandi's kids are my favorite people in the entire world, but I've found out in the last few years that she is pretty cool too. I secretly love when she calls just because she needs adult conversation and Heath is out of town and she has been with the kids every day, all week. Jami and I are so close in age that it was pretty easy for us to always find something we needed to fight about. Driving. Friends. Boys. School. Our parents. The TV. The front seat. You name it, we probably fought about it. But I'm beginning to understand that she is the only person in the ENTIRE world who understands exactly what it was like to grow up in our house at the same time as me. She is definitely feisty and just about as sarcastic as I am, but instead of hating it and always being so annoyed with it like I used to be, I love it. She's not afraid to tell anybody whats up, and as opposite as that is from me, I'm so glad she is, because somebody has to be, right? I'm so thankful for my sweet and perfect-for-me family, and so excited to finally be home with them for more than a couple of days this week. Thank Jesus for yours today and for His beautiful grace. Love Love Love.

Perfect Grandparents..

Last night, Katiebug and I went to her nanee and papa's house in Atkins and spent the night with them, her sister, Claire, and her 4 year-old cousin, Lily.. I had so much fun! Nanee was decorating for Christmas and all I could think about was going to spend the night at my Grandma and Grandpa Jones' house when I was little. It was always a big deal because they lived pretty far away until I was 12. My grandpa snored so loud that they slept in separate rooms, but I always loved to curl up in my grandma's huge bed and watch the Fox and the Hound or Snow White until we fell asleep. One of my very favorite memories is of my cousin Hannah, Jami, and I making a pallet in the floor of their living room and sleeping there with both my grandma and my grandpa, or at least until we made him go to sleep because he was so loud! I remember Christmases and my first fishing trip with him, and then I remember when he passed away when I was 7. It has been 12 years this week and that just seems crazy. That I'm old enough for it to have been that long, and that I still remember so much more about him than even I thought.

My sweet Gram & Grandpa Jones
My dad's parents always lived pretty close to us when we were in Jonesboro, but we didn't see them a lot. I remember dancing with my granny when we went to visit once, and then laughing till we cried, because she called my dad a goober and I was sure it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. We didn't ever get to spend a lot of time with them when she was still around, but I remember her having the sweetest spirit and always working so hard to do whatever Grandpa Wehunt needed done. When I was a senior, Grandpa moved in and I got to really be around him for the first time. He only lived with us for three months, but I loved coming home to him watching the news or whatever. He would always ask me how I was and if I said "Good!", he would remind me of the verse that says no one is good. He really was as close to perfect as anyone I've ever met, probably because he loved the Lord with his entire life. I'm so thankful for the grandparents I was so blessed to have for even a short time, and the Gram and Bill I still do. They made everything so much more fun growing up. My grandma is still one of my favorite people in the world. Thank Jesus for the sweet grandparents you have or have had in your life, yours or someone else's, and, of course, for grace. Love Love Love. 

Deven..

This is kind of a weird post for me, but this is something that has definitely had a big impact on who I am. I mentioned my friend Deven from 7th grade once before, but I'm gonna tell you a little more about him. When he was 13, Deven was killed in a car accident. I know that seems like so long ago, and it was, but his short life challenged me more than very many people in my whole life have. I don't necessarily think about him every day like I used to, but I definitely haven't forgotten him. I know that before when I mentioned something about him, I was talking about his passion for Christ at such a young age. He literally didn't meet a stranger and told EVERY one about Jesus and everything He had done for him. A few days before he passed away, he, and our friend Corey, had been going table to table in our lunch room to ask people if they knew Jesus. I don't know about you, but I don't even have that kind of courage or confidence now, let alone then! I heard a song that they played at his funeral this week, and I've been thinking about everything his life stood for since.

 I know that he was a nerdy, 13 year old kid, with a curly, blonde afro, but his life and death changed my life for good. I couldn't ever thank him enough for the inspiration and friend he was to me then, and even now. I don't why certain things happen, but I am more than certain that Deven's life and death happened to bring glory to his King, and thats all he would have wanted. I'm so thankful for the short time I did get to spend with him and even more thankful that he showed the love of Jesus until the day he died. I know this is kind of a weird thing to be thankful for now, almost 7 years later, but He impacted my eternal relationship with my Savior, so that is obviously a HUGE deal. Thank Jesus today for all the people that have impacted you and your walk, and, as always, look for grace in your life, both given and received. Love Love Love.

His Gracious People..

I know I always go on and on about how appreciative I am for God's grace, but I often forget about how thankful I am for people who emulate Jesus and show His kind of grace and forgiveness. As I have been trying to be extra aware of all the things that God continually blesses me with, of course God would bring me back to the beatitudes where He blesses people with certain attributes that reflect Him. Matthew 5:7-8 says, "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." He says that if we are merciful, we will be shown mercy. I know that I am reluctant to let people get away with almost anything, but WHY?! He lets me get away with EVERYTHING. Its easy to see God's grace, because we don't deserve anything but death for everything we've done against Him, but it is much easier to miss the times that our friends and family are so gracious to forgive us. I know that I say something ridiculous to one of my best friends sometimes or think I need my parents to hear my opinion and, instead of them correcting me, or being mad like they very well could be, they instantly forgive me and allow me to move on like nothing happened. I'll be the first to admit that I sometimes need to be set straight, because I can get feisty fast, so that anyone could let me slide and act like it didn't happen, that is a miracle in and of itself. I am so thankful that I am surrounded by gracious, Jesus-loving people. I am going to make it a personal goal that I am extra aware of other people's grace and that I try to imitate and show it in my own life. Hold me to that! Today, thank Jesus for the grace of Him and His people. Love Love Love.

Fall & Sunsets..

I'm typing this from the Lake Dardanelle Visitor's Center deck.. It is absolutely beautiful outside! Since I've moved to Tech, I've really enjoyed all the scenic little places around campus. They are something that isn't common everywhere and that I just didn't take advantage of in Alma. Today, I'm here with some of my best friends, Katie, Rachel, Laura, and Taylor, doing homework, but I come here a lot for whatever reason. Sometimes to have my quiet time. Sometimes to just talk and hang out. Besides my allergies going crazy right now, it is absolutely perfect here! I'm so thankful for all of the little ways God shows himself. To say I'm obsessed with fall and perfect sunsets is an understatement, so this time of year, just a little later in the evening, it is perfect out here.. Especially with a Sonic drink in hand like today!

Here's a picture from the deck that I stole from their website.. Beautiful, right?! Look for God's grace in all the little things today and thank Him for His beautiful creations. Especially fall and sunsets! Love Love Love. 

Home Sweet Home

I missed yesterday, but thats okay, because I have an extra lot to be thankful for today. First of all, HOME. I haven't been home this year as much as last year, not half as much actually, but I think it has actually made me much more thankful for my family and friends that are still in Alma. There is just something about being in my house and knowing that I'm in Alma that helps me feel better after a bad week. That sounds so cliche I know, but it is so true. Last night, I finally got to spend some much needed time with my friends Chelsi, Scott, and Jessica. Today, until tomorrow afternoon, I've been babysitting Kyli, Lathan, and Landon. If you've talked to me for five minutes, you've heard entirely too much about them I'm sure, but they really are my favorite people in the entire world. We played hard all day and then they went to bed a little earlier than normal. That was fine by me, because Chelsi, Jessica, and Michael came over to visit for a little while. Sometimes, I need to be reminded how sweet the relationships I have here are. They really are more and more important to me, so I'm extremely thankful that I finally got to see almost everybody I love from home. 

Go ahead & love all over this sweet picture of the kids from Halloween. Lathan was Iron Man, Kyli was the Frog Princess, and Landon was her frog. So sweet! I hope you don't ever take for granted your home, family, and friends who have influenced you so much, because I definitely do. Look for those things in your life in the next few days and thank Jesus for beautiful beginnings and, of course, grace. Love Love Love.

Roomie Love!

Today, I am SO thankful for my sweet, new roommate Judi! She just moved in last weekend and has already been such an encouragement and blessing in my room and in my life! We haven't know each other very long, but I already feel like we are becoming very good friends. She has such a pretty heart for Jesus and loves to tell everyone she meets about her redemption story. My favorite thing she says is when someone asks her about Jesus and she says, "My life has been changed by the unconditional love of Jesus Christ." How beautiful! I'm so thankful for her sweet spirit and crazy behavior! She is one of the funniest people I've ever met and one of the few that loves naps and pillow talk as much as me.. She's the best!

Enjoy God's beautiful Grace today and always thank Him for friendships centered on Him. Love Love Love.

His Grace is Enough

I just wanted you to hear this song today & know how very thankful I am that Jesus' grace is enough to cover over any multitude of sins and mistakes I make. His love is beautiful! Heres a video with lyrics & all.. Your Grace is Enough by Chris Tomlin. It has become one of my very favorite songs and the biggest comfort, so pay close attention & live it out! Love Love Love.

So Blessed!

Kristina, Jordan, Amanda, Taylor, & Katiebug on our way to Mt. Nebo!

Obviously, I suck at remembering to blog! I can't believe its been an entire month, but then again, I don't think I've sat down in the last month so I guess that explains it! Lately, God has really been emphasizing to me how blessed I am. It's so easy to stress about money or school or friends and then forget how good I have it. I feel like I've always been a pretty reasonable,  although obnoxiously dramatic, person, but lately God's pointed out to me how much I take for granted and just how blessed I really am. I've got it easy compared to so  many people. Katiebug decided she was going to blog about what shes thankful for every day during November,  and while I know I won't ever keep up with that, I just want to start posting a picture or a quote or a verse or just something little every day that lets you know how blessed I am and how very thankful I am for EVERYTHING in my life. So here goes.. day 1 of a billion to come.

These girls- Rachel, Katiebug, Jilliann, & Kiwi- have become some of my best friends. We all live in the same dorm, and I am literally with them almost constantly. They've taught me so much about being a good friend and truly shown me what it looks like to be a beautiful example of Christ's unconditional love. A weird thing about being at school that I don't think I would have expected is how fast you get close to people. I hated my life for the longest time when I first came to Tech and I couldn't wait to go home every weekend. At the end of last semester, I started hanging out with these girls and they have been the biggest blessings in my life. I'm so thankful for sweet, Christian friendships. Here are a few more pictures of friendships I couldn't live without.

Chelsi, Jessica, & Betsy- So old, but we never take pictures at home! 

Janey, Jordan, Hannah, Amanda, & Jilliann at the lake- I'm looking rough, but they're the best!

Love Love Love.

Being Intentional..

I hate that it has been so long since I've posted, but everything has been so crazy busy! Lately, I've been so burdened by the urgency of showing Jesus to everybody I come in contact with. I have this overwhelming, critical conviction that I absolutely can't ignore. It seems like every sermon I hear or song I sing has to do with not just talking the talk, but walking the walk as well. A few weeks ago at FROGS we talked about wearing masks and being real with people. This morning, Aaron talked about being intentional about sharing Christ with gracious, passionate speech. Leah spoke to the frog leaders at our meeting last week and encouraged us to be visionaries and always know what we're trying to do as Christians. Those are just a few things I remember right away, but God has placed a constant pull on my heart to be more active and intentional about showing Him to everyone and anyone. I heard a song today by Matthew West called "My Own Little World" and it sums up everything I've been feeling I think. It says, "Start breaking my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me open hands and open doors. Put Your light in my eyes and let me see that my own little world is not about me." I know that I constantly have to remind myself that because Jesus is so gracious with me, SO gracious, that I HAVE to act on His behalf, even when I don't want to. Sometimes I don't understand why I've never been so anxious to share Jesus or how I could be so prideful as to refuse to share Him with everyone I've ever encountered, but that only makes me all the more burdened to share Him now. I know that I have to start sharing Him in my speech, but He also has to be evident in everything I do and think. Last week in the revival at FBC in Russellville, the preacher talked about filling our lives with God. He said, "There is only so much room in you. If you fill it with God and His word, the stuff that shouldn't be there has to leave." It seems so simple to fill my life with Him because I honestly want to please and praise Him in everything I do, but I make it so much more difficult than that. I am determined to wake up every morning and commit my steps to Him before I even think about anything else. I know I've said it before, but I am constantly reminded that God is repulsed by the lukewarm, and I can't honestly say that I don't seem to be on the fence sometimes. Never intentionally, but I definitely don't always react like I am a daughter of the King when something bad happens. I WILL commit everyday to Him and carry His joy as my strength, regardless of what happens. I WILL be intentional about showing His love to everyone I know. I WILL serve Him however he calls me, no matter how it affects my comfort. I WILL follow Him with reckless abandon. I'll leave you with this song by Chris Tomlin.. I Will Follow You Go listen!!! Let Him use you this week and glorify Him in everything you do! Love Love Love.

All day. Every day.

It has been so long since I've blogged and I'll be the first one to tell you that I have 734,000 things I should be doing instead of sitting at the computer, but here I am. Finally! Theres no way I can summarize everything I've been thinking and praying about it, but all that pulls it together is that God is THROWING me out of my comfort zone and reminding me that all I NEED is Him. Yesterday at church, Mark talked about adding expectations, standards, and even limits to Jesus. I forget so often that He is so much more capable to work in my life if I can give up and just let Him. My prayer in these last couple of days has been Psalms 51:12, "Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and make me willing to obey You." I want to be running full force to Him constantly. All day, Every day. I want to be joyful even when my heart is hurting. I want to obey His commands and His will as soon as He shows them to me. I have grown up surrounded by ideas of who Jesus is and where he needs to be instead of allowing Him to be everything and everything to me. It is so hard to "let go and let God" but I can't think of anything more important! I've always heard about needing to die to myself before I can ever let God live and work through me, but WOAH, that hits so close to home. I get up every morning with 100 things I want to do and tell God that if He can work around my plans, I'll serve Him, but I'm missing the point completely. I should wake up in the morning and say first thing "Use me, Jesus, no matter what" THEN I'll understand. That has to be my heart's constant desire, to long to obey Him and His will.
I saw this quote a long time ago that I try to remind myself of daily. It says "If I knew what God knew, His will is exactly what I would want for my life." If I could even comprehend how many beautiful experiences He has planned for me, I would want nothing more than to sit at His feet and wait for commands. I'm learning everyday to wake up and ask Jesus to show himself to me, because He has a plan, and it is perfect! But, of course, I fail constantly. All day. Every day. And of course, that leads me back into His arms full of grace. Be joyful this week and strive to obey Him no matter what. Remind yourself of His will and perfect plan. Love  Love Love.

Everything to Him..

When I was in 7th grade, one my closest friends was in a car accident and passed away. I remember thinking that he was a good person with a great heart, that he had already made such an impact with his short life, and that I couldn't imagine why in the world this was happening to somebody like Deven and his family. Back to Crazy Love.. There is a story in chapter 2 about a girl named Brooke who was killed in a car accident when she was 14. Her story is so similar to Deven's! She loved Jesus and always wanted to share him! When I hear stories like Brooke's and remember Deven's, I can't help but think that Jesus doesn't make mistakes. He perfectly orchestrated their lives before they were born, before their parents were born, even before the earth was made! Before my parents met, Jesus knew exactly what he would call me to be and I can't keep denying that.
 Until the point that I got serious about taking up my cross and following Him DAILY, I always ignored his convictions that interrupted what I wanted. It is easy to walk around every day and assume that things will follow the pattern that the world has set up, but Jesus has called us all to so much more than that. That is where it gets tough.. Giving Him every desire. Giving Him every want. Giving Him every need. Giving Him all my time. Giving Him EVERYTHING. And still trusting that I'll be okay if I don't get everything I always expected. So we give Him everything, then what?
Psalms 139:23 says, "Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns." I want Jesus to be able to look through and through me, and not see even the smallest imperfection. That means everything has to reflect Him. Let me break it down.. Everything I say, everything I do, everything I eat, everything I think, everything I see, everything I hear, EVERYTHING has to be of Him. I can't get over the fact that I've been failing for so long. It is easy to pick apart what God's telling me and have it pinned down to something that works for me and doesn't actually do anything at all to glorify Him. But it is so much bigger to know that, regardless of how many times I fail, God has planned my entire life, I just have to decide to get back up and keep going. 
The book goes on to talk about lukewarm Christians, and let me warn you, its even more convicting than the last chapters. My whole life has been about my comfort and until I get out of that mindset, I CANNOT be an effective Christian. Jesus says that a lukewarm Christian has  to be VOMITED out of his mouth in Revelations 3. In Luke 14, He says if we are not the salt of the earth, we are not even good for manure. Can you even imagine how many times I've been a lukewarm Christian in His eyes and He has been, at best, disgusted by me? If you haven't heard Fence Riders by Jimmy Needham, listen now!! Jesus is so willing to forgive us and to cover us in his grace anytime we fail, but He definitely calls us to stop riding the fences of our relationship with Him. Please remember how perfect and just His grace is! Love Love Love.

Here & Now..

Let me start this by warning you all, I have never been so convicted by a book as I am by Crazy Love, so the next few posts will probably be about it. I'll start with this quote from chapter one.. "I sometimes struggle with how to properly respond to God's magnitude in a world bent on ignoring or merely tolerating Him. But know this: God will not be tolerated. He instructs us to worship and fear Him." I just can't get past the point that I've been missing everything that God has ever tried to tell me.. Last Sunday at FBC, Mark talked about waiting for "the call" while its been here forever. I can't explain to you how sincerely I feel led to the mission field in Africa, but I've been missing the bigger picture. From the day I became a Christian, I was called to the mission field EVERYWHERE I GO. In Alma. In Russellville. At Arkansas Tech.  It doesn't stop where I am, it goes everywhere I've been and with anybody I've affected, good OR bad.
I started working with the Cubbies tonight at Awanas and I can't tell you how much they warmed my heart. They had such a genuine excitement and awe when they heard that God knows everything about them.  One little boy, Paetyn, almost came unglued when he shouted to Kate, "AWESOME!!!" I want to always bring that excitement and love for the Lord to people, so why haven't I been? How many opportunities have I missed? How many people have I had every chance to invite to church, but decided not to because I wasn't willing to step out of my comfort zone? How many times have I decided that hanging out with the same friends I see every night is more important than sitting down and having my quiet time?
I was telling my crazy time partner Katiebug today that I need to be more independent in everything, but in my faith particularly. For so long, I looked up to my parents or my youth group leaders or my even my older friends for leadership. It wasn't until college that I really started to understand what God has for me separately, and that started with worshiping and fearing Him, like the book points out. I can't stress enough what an encouragement Christian friends and campus ministries are, but this year I've made a promise to God and myself to make decisions and commitments for Him and His will instead of others. I'm so excited for it, but I know its gonna be so hard! But of course that brings me back to grace.. Every time I fall away from that, my purpose right here in Russellville, I'll need His grace to cover me, so of course it will! He is so good! I'm sure I'll be back with more so soon because I can't seem to stop blogging! Love Love Love.

Crazy Time

For as long as I can remember, I've avoided anything that takes me out of my comfort zone. When I was little, that meant PE and Band. When I was in high school, that was things like speaking in public and new friends, because believe it or not, I didn't talk much. That seems weird now, but once in middle school, after just moving to Alma, a girl thought I was a special education student because I NEVER talked. My friends and family have always known the "real" me that's WAY more talkative and willing to embarrass herself in front of them a little for the sake of a good laugh, but when I moved to college those comfortable lines were really challenged. So whats that have to do with now?
I bought Crazy Love as soon as it would stay on a shelf long enough, then got too busy to read it. So its been sitting on my desk for well over a year collecting dust, until my sweet friend Katiebug & I decided we would read it together and have "crazy time" to talk about it every night. So last night when I got back to my room and found out she'd already started reading, I had to jump into my bed and start right away. She warned me that it was gonna convict me immediately, but I wasn't ready for 17 daggers to the heart. Its always annoyed me so much when someone would constantly harp on only the loving attributes of Jesus, but that's because, as I discovered last night, its so hard for me to love. Not to love my friends or my family. If you know me, you've heard me talk about my bffffff's and my nieces and nephews, and I couldn't love them more, but its so hard for me to love the people who are hard to love. But Jesus didn't discriminate. He says to even love our enemies. "But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." (Luke 6:27) So clearly I'm failing miserably, but thats what brings me back to grace! Time to get crazy and get out of my comfort zone to love others like Jesus does, even my enemies! Love Love Love.

Another New Beginning..

I've always wanted to blog and I feel like now is the perfect time because God is teaching me so much about myself and others. This summer I decided to skip a discipleship training opportunity at First Baptist in Russellville and stay home one last summer because, hopefully, I'll get to be in Africa for most of next summer! (Cross your fingers!) So I started reading Lady in Waiting and Its Not About Me to fill all the extra time.. & they turned my world upside down! They were reminders everyday that nothing is ever promised. I was challenged to set aside every desire and give those to God instead of assuming they'll come. Lady in Waiting really pushed me to realize that I have to give up the assumption that a perfect Christian marriage with 2.5 kids will follow college. Its Not About Me made me realize that if I don't get those things Ive always expected, it'll be because God has things 73,000 times better for me and I'll be better for giving them up. But that's easier said than done.
So that leads to Fields of Grace. Every time I fail to see everything God has planned and slip back in to waiting around for all those things and rushing my time away, God brings me back to grace. One of my very favorite passages that God continuously brings me back to is in 2 Corinthians 12, "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." I constantly have to be reminded of this! God's grace is so good! This blog is to constantly remind myself of how gracious the Lord has been to me and to share with you his new blessings everyday! Hope you keep reading! Have a beautiful day! Love Love Love.